Though I’m loving my experience abroad, let’s be real. It can be hard.
My first few weeks in England have been a whirlwind of adventures with amazing new friends that I’m making. I love walking down to the market and have been adjusting to shopping and cooking for myself daily. I’m obsessed with the pulse of Liverpool and the constant knowledge that here are new things to see, some fleeting, some a staple I know I can’t miss and say I truly spent my time in Liverpool well (Beatles tour anyone?).
However, I can’t ignore the pang of lying down to bed with my boyfriend an ocean away. When I’m winding down my night, I can’t help but wish I could pop over to my friend’s room to watch the new season of our show together, and to take advantage of their Playstation and Fortnight. I miss chasing the dread of homework away knowing my sisters are waiting in Starbucks to listen to me vent, dish on their lives, or scold me when I’m not doing the work I promised I would.
Add in the reality that things move forward at home and I’m not there; my mom can video chat and my dad and I can text and my brother can send me Snapchats of his cat and him feeding my fish, but it doesn’t replace being a measly 3 hours away from home and my loved ones.
Though I love my adventures and my friends, finding we have more and more in common and we have picked our own shows to binge-watch, when I fall back in bed at the end of the night I see my best friends on the campus I call home without me. Instagramming, getting ready for a night out, and I feel a pang in my chest.
Sometimes, I wonder if I should spend more time trying to get out and spend more time with my friends, sometimes I do. Other times I sit in my room and message all the friends who cross my social media that I can’t wait to see them again, or hole in for hours video chatting my boy.
I’ve come to realize neither option is bad. Though I can’t always shut myself away to talk to everyone back home, it’s nice to feel those ties and it makes me happy to catch up with my friends when it feels life moves so fast. And sometimes I have to stop messaging my mom in order to catch a train to my groups next adventure or just leave my cave to make a group dinner, and those are great times!
Living in Liverpool is a crash course in learning what makes me happy, and allowing myself to embrace it while still pushing myself to experience the most the abroad experience has to offer. And though I may feel bad passing on Sunday tea, I’m much happier giving myself some down time to read before talking with my mom after a hard week.
And though I feel bad I need to reschedule my dads call, I know he understands how valuable my experience abroad is and he’s glad I’m making friends to share it with. In the end, my first month abroad has reminded me a very important lesson from freshman year.
Sometimes, you just have to call your mom.
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